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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27267607">Can't Do This Anymore</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fools_yourhonour/pseuds/Fools_yourhonour'>Fools_yourhonour</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Winter, The Crying Season [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Multi-Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, Death, Gen, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:26:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27267607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fools_yourhonour/pseuds/Fools_yourhonour</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeon Jungkook Has Have Had Enough.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Winter, The Crying Season [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990957</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can't Do This Anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, first of all.<br/>This series is simply to blow off some steam that has collected in my head because of things I won't share to strangers on the internet. I do not wish for this to happen to anyone, friend or foe. By no means am I spreading hate to any fandom, I like all fandoms and appreciate people and characters who are so. </p><p>This will contain sadness and angst only, no fluff. I need something to indulge my anxiety and stress. These fics are meant to be a distraction for me from the reality of this world. Though these are not explicit or detailed, I still advice you to not go any further if you have even the slightest of hesitation. Please take care of yourself, don't force yourself.</p><p>These are short and not sweet fictions.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His eyes opened again, the nth time this night, he felt agitated, still stuck up on that one little mistake he made.</p><p>That one little mistake that made him furious.</p><p>That one little mistake that made him fight the others.</p><p>The way he had had started screaming, moving his hands around like a madman, unintentionally hitting Taehyung in the face. They would usually laugh it off, take it easy. But usually there weren't any fights, at least not this messed up. Namjoon had tried to console him, the 22 year old boy trying to be the leader, a friend to his band mate. But when Jungkook didn't reply he sadly told him to go to bed and rest, that they would talk to him in the morning when he would be feeling better.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p><p>Jungkook was tired, tired of the pity the members felt towards him, tired of being away from his family. </p><p>So, he decided to do something he's always kept in the back of his head. </p><p>Just a little teasing thought that crept up in his mind whenever similar things happened.</p><p>
  <i>Why  wouldn't his hyungs understand him? Why wouldn't they understand when they've all been in exact spot as him?</i>
</p><p>He would usually shake off these grim thoughts, but this time the wmotions felt more powerful, controlling. The desire to end this, end this misery. He got up from his bed carefully, making sure not to wake any of the members. <b>03:26</b> the clock read, <i>'Good, Even Yoongi-hyung wouldn't be awake now, this is my only shot.</i> </p><p>And with that, he left the dorm, going to the Han River. It was a warm night, he took his sweet time, his last walk strangely peaceful. He felt no regrets, no flashbacks of his life annoying him behind his eyes. And with that he soon stood in front of the cool river, the beautiful scene melting his heart a bit. Though he didn't stay still for long and started walking again, not stopping even after his feet touched the water, the cold liquid seeping into the creases of his shoes and making a shiver go down his spine.</p><p>It wasn't until he was waist deep in the water that he felt the grave reality, suddenly all emotions barged slammed into him like a truck</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>'What would my hyungs say? They'd be so disappointed.'</p><p>'What would my family say? Will dad cry? Be angry? Will they scold my hyungs for not taking care of me?'</p><p>'What about Taehyung? Is he still angry because I hit him?'</p><p>'And Jimin hyung? Oh.. it's been a long time since I addressed him as Hyung....'</p><p>'Namjoon hyung? Is he blaming himself for not being able to make me feel better?'</p><p>'And the others? How would they feel?'</p><p>'If only I wasn't so stupid and selfish then I could've apologi-'</p><p>He cut himself off when he felt his body getting colder as the minutes passed. He looked down, the water as if a black hole, inviting him down and he felt his heart stop. It wasn't pleasant, peaceful or whatever nonsensible things he had been wondering about before. He was terrified. And there was nothing he could do. In a burst of adrenaline he shakingly dialed Namjoon's phone number, the call being picked up almost immediately.</p><p><b>"Kook-ah?! Where are you??"</b>, Came Namjoon's urgent voice.</p><p>Jungkook couldn't do anything, bottom lip quivering harshly, was there another practise is that why Namjoon was waiting for him to hurry up and go back? He messed up again didn't he-</p><p><b>"Kookie? Where are you? We're coming."</b> And suddenly Jimin was on the line, he sucked in a deep breath, "P-practise?" there was silence on the other end and he grew nervous.<b>"No, Kookie. Just tell us where you are, we're coming to get you." Jimin again. "T-Tae-hyung too?"</b> Jungkook breathed. </p><p><b>"Taehyung is not angry at you, baby, he was the one who woke us all up. Would you tell us your location little one?"</b> and Jungkook broke down, his knees buckled as he stood waist down in the cold river.</p><p>Sobbing he said, "H-Han River" and heard everyone rushing out, Jimin still on the call seemingly conversing with another member, </p><p><b>"Kiddo."</b> Yoongi's deep voice cut through the loneliness from where he was, "How are you feeling?" and Jungkook couldn't stop the tears and snot running down his pale face, "I-I I'm s-so so-orry" he cried. <b>"It's okay, you don't feel good eh? It's okay. You don't always have to feel good. Sometimes it's okay to be sad."</b> He tried replying but words wouldn't come out, <b>"Hold on we're almost here."</b></p><p>And Jungkook waited, listening to the muted murmurs of the members and then, "JUNGKOOK" he whipped his head towards the sound and saw as his hyungs all stood by the bank horrified, even Yoongi. His usually calm face turned a sickly white. It was Hoseok who had screamed. The poor boy looked as if he was about to faint, Namjoon couldn't say a word and Taehyung was crying.</p><p>"Jungkook-ah come back home, it's all right. We're not angry at you. We never were." Seokjin spoke out and Jungkook finally could get words out his throat, "I'm.... I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. You don't have to be sweet."</p><p>"And that's where you need to stop. As we said, we're not angry at you. We were frustrated that we couldn't make you feel comforted after all that you had to go through. So it's okay if you feel sad, you're only human, you can't be the perfect Golden Maknae the world knows you by all the time. You're Jungkook, just another boy doing his best." Seokjin tried to smile despite seeing his dongseng half submerged into water. Jungkook felt weird never having had seen Seokjin like this.</p><p>"I- I'm coming to you." Jungkook stuttered, and Hoseok opened his arms, standing just a little closer the water waiting for Jungkook to fall into his arms, waiting for them to go back home. Waiting for them to cuddle and write songs and practise and stay as a family-</p><p>Their eyes widened as they saw the boy with sparkling bambi eyes slip in the water, his screech of shock reverbrating through their souls.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>Jungkook moved his feet, taking a step towards his hyungs, to go back to their home, he didn't see the slippery rock in the dark of the night as he pushed all of his weight onto it.</p><p>
  <i>And slipped</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again, I do not wish to spread hate nor do I wish such unfortunate circumstances to befall anyone.</p><p>Though if you wish to write negative comments to ridicule my work, you are free to do so. But you may not ridicule the person or character I'm writing about.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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